David Letterman Tonight Quotations

I got a call from my mom today, she says, 'Well, David, I see you didn't get the 'Tonight Show' again,'

Our guest tonight is Michelle Obama, first lady of the United States. She's here to announce her run for president.

Meryl Streep is on the program tonight. I like to throw her a little work whenever I can.

I'll be honest with you. It's beginning to look like I'm not going to get 'The Tonight Show.'

George Clooney is on the program tonight. Next week at this time I will be in a hardware store watching them mix paint.

Bill Murray is on the show tonight. Next week I'll be Goggling 'foods that improve prostate health.'