I should be committed to an institution immediately for even...

I should be committed to an institution immediately for even thinking I could get away with that. These two things are opposing, they oppose one another. To be a director you have to be in complete control of the set, complete control of the surroundings, and very aware of what's going on, what's being used and what's not being used... It's insanity. To be an actor you have to be, in a sense, out of control.