Diablo Cody Quotations

I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

I feel like I'm part of a generation of people who are stuck in the past and are really self-absorbed. I mean, we're actually taking pictures of ourselves and posting them on Facebook, and keeping in touch with people that should have been out of our lives 15 years ago.

I would never consent to a lame publicity stunt at a time when I already want to hide.

Everybody knows that I'm not a snob when it comes to pop culture, obviously. I love reality shows.

The fashion industry isn't merely content to encase my meaty flanks in skintight denim. Oh, no! That denim also has to be white, a color that attracts ketchup, wine, garlic aioli, and any other foodstuffs I might otherwise be able to enjoy if I wasn't wearing ridiculously tight pants.

There's something magical about spending a Sunday night watching real people at a deli, then watching fake people pretending to be real on TV, then engaging in (arguably) false interaction with (arguably) real people on the Internet. Never at any prior point in time has this been possible.

I absolutely relate to being alone in squalor, trying to come up with something adequate. I relate to that, and I've been known to crawl out of bed and drink out of a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke.

There's something about a roller coaster that triggers strong feelings, maybe because most of us associate them with childhood. They're inherently cinematic; the very shape of a coaster, all hills and valleys and sickening helices, evokes a human emotional response.

I'm glad that as a 33-year-old working mother, I can still choose to wear a Hello Kitty T-shirt or stay up late scrolling through the Twitter feed of my junior-high crush.

The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.

I think sometimes people really require the satisfaction of closure.

I spent a lot of time staring at the clock in school, so I have that kind of personality.

You know, it shouldn't just be about women as heroic figures overcoming things, it just needs to be about women in general getting the opportunity to play a multitude of roles, telling a multitude of stories - just to express human experience from a woman's perspective. I hope, someday, we can get to that point. I'm all about representation.

I don't think coolness used to be such a commodity among adults. And now it is.

But here is the single greatest thing about the 'Vanity Fair' party: There are uniformed In-N-Out Burger employees circulating the room with trays of cheeseburgers all night long.

I know white clothing is supposed to enhance that summer glow, but writers don't tan.

I just want to be able to keep my house and pay for my son's school tuition in Los Angeles.

People don't have these tidy little redemption arcs in reality the way they do in movies.

I don't think I ever got the hang of the writers' room. I love collaborating with people, but I really do my best work alone, and I think I would want to - if I did something again, I think I'd want to take total ownership the way Aaron Sorkin or David Kelley does.

You make a first impression and people never forget it. If people want to think of me as the wacky 'Juno' lady forever, I could think of worse ways to be labeled.

There's a weird cloud around you when you're recognizable. It was a brief window for me. I think you have to have a pathological need for attention of any type, negative or positive, to thrive in that kind of situation. And I only want compliments.

I can't write at night. For me, I'm programmed to believe that nighttime is for relaxation.

I always say when you write a book, you're a 'one-man band.' Whereas, when you finish a screenplay, it's just a sketch.

To enjoy being famous, you need to have a screw loose.

My boyfriend is Italian and from New Jersey, so naturally he was thrilled to meet Joe Pesci.

He is the cheese to my macaroni.

For me, stripping was an unusual kind of escape. I had nothing to escape but privilege, but I claimed asylum anyway. At twenty-four, it was my last chance to reject something and become nothing. I wanted to terrify myself. Mission accomplished.

Even though I am in this weird position of being a semi-recognizable screenwriter, which isn't that common, at the same time, I'm not an actress. I'm pretty isolated.

I've been meaning to write about the Rolling Stones, but I am the furthest thing from a hipster rock journalist.

Stripping toughened my hide, but exposing myself as a writer has been a lot more brutal.

I think I might be one of the only people in America, or at least the only person I know, who saw both 'The Dark Knight' and 'Mamma Mia!' on their shared opening weekend.

I do a nice sloppy first draft like everybody else. And then just work at it and work at it and groom it. I get input from other people.

Juno MacGuff: I don't know what kind of girl I am.

I hear that 5 o'clock whistle in my mind like Fred Flintstone and I have to stop. I'm also not much of a morning writer. I have a sweet spot from about 11am to 4pm. But I really work during that time.

I had written the script for Juno and apparently Steven Spielberg had read it. I can't just call him Steven, that's weird... Mr. Spielberg had read it and he liked it. He asked me if I would write this television show for him and I said, 'Yeah!'

I have a lot of screenwriter friends and many of them have had an experience where they aren't even welcome on set during production.

I've been so lucky - I worked with Jason Reitman twice, who has always been a really strong advocate for my voice, and has always really respected the scripts that I've brought him and is just the coolest.

I have never been an ambitious person, and my participation in this industry is a fluke, but only male writers can afford to be coy and self-deprecating.

The attitude toward women in this industry is nauseating. There are all sorts of porcine executives who are uncomfortable with a woman doing anything subversive. They want the movie about the beautiful girl who trips and falls, the adorable klutz.

I've never even seen a great set fight or a great set meltdown. I seem to always be on these incredibly relaxed sets.

People say 'teenage girls aren't so clever. Your characters should be less articulate to reflect our youth.' People who say that aren't spending time with teenagers.

I had the experience last year of directing my first feature while I had a 1-year-old son and while I was also pregnant, so I am now well aware of the difficulties women who are rearing children face when they're also trying to make headway in mainstream of film.

Juno MacGuff: I was out handling things way beyond my maturity level.

I don't know if I have some kind of defiance disorder or something, but if I'm hired to write something by "The Man," or by a studio, for whatever reason, it's really hard for me to finish. I inevitably wind up using that time to write something else.

I've been watching 'American Idol' since its debut season in 2002. Back then, America hadn't yet evolved into a gladiatorial cybernation of bloggers, tweeters, and self-ordained voice coaches.

If being an attractive woman got you attention for directing, then the entire 'best director' category would be comprised of models. To me, that is just the most ludicrous connection that you could make.

Personally, I consider 'Titanic' the most brilliant example of successful counterprogramming; the film actually countered itself by embedding an epic chick flick within a classic disaster movie.

Somebody asked me earlier if I thought it was really important to tell stories about women's struggles. And I said yes, but at the same time, it's also important to tell stories about women's triumphs, women being slackers, women being criminals, women being heroes.

Speaking of Twitter, I don't even know if I composed a blog entry in 2009, as I was too busy parceling my every thought into cute 140-character sound bites. I used to only worry about being pithy for a living; now some of my best lines are wasted on a free app!

That's also why comedy and horror are my two favorite genres of film to write, because you get these outbursts of emotion from people, laughter and shock, and it's really thrilling, and I like to be thrilled.

I just go about my life. I'm a mom, I drive an SUV, I go to the grocery store every day. I'm definitely not a celebrity. I always say that I'm a celebrity-adjacent.

I think it's pretty obvious that women's stories are not necessarily being told in Hollywood and women are not necessarily being put in the leadership positions they deserve in mainstream film.

Unfortunately I don't live by a Target now, so I just go to a regular Starbucks as opposed to a Starbucks nested inside a Target, which is my ideal situation. That works out for me. I like that white noise, those interruptions, and the people around me.

This is for the writers. I want to thank all the writers. I especially want to thank my fellow nominees, because I worship you guys. I’m learning from you every day.

When I do encounter young women or aspiring filmmakers who tell me that I've inspired them or that my work means something to them, that's amazing. That's really exciting!

Hollywood is a perpetual summerland, a temperate, godless yaw where the very word 'season' has been co-opted by television executives. There are few harbingers of winter here.

People have always wanted to be recognized, and that's human nature. But people used to want to be recognized for their accomplishments, and now they simply want to be visible.

The fact is, when I wrote 'Juno' - and I think this is part of its charm and appeal - I didn't know how to write a movie. And I also had no idea it was going to get made!

I try to avoid Twitter. I occasionally can't resist the siren call of email.

If I want to get a taste of beach culture, I'll fire up my season 2 DVD of 'Beverly Hills, 90210.'

I am actually able to do other things. I'm not just this writer.

I'm one of the people that were divorced by 30, which is apparently a growing group... Obviously it's something that affects you forever. It's going to be interesting to see in ten, twenty years what kind of lasting effect young divorce has on the people that are doing it because it's becoming more and more common.

The things that I write are autobiographical in a surreal sense, like when you have a dream and you go to the doctor's office, but then you turn around and it's actually your childhood home and the doctor has turned into Ryan Reynolds.

If this whole writing thing doesn't work out, I'll be getting right back on the pole.

There's probably no experience more alienating than fame, other than a terminal illness, where you actually find yourself in a situation that nobody around you can relate to.

The stuff I write isn't strictly autobiographical, but it's personal, if that makes any sense. It draws all these little incidents and people out of my life and then contorts them.

I actually have two children now, and sometimes I wonder if that's it. Because they do make writing and directing more complicated and more difficult, especially now that they're very young.

And I think I'm an adrenaline junkie, and there's nothing that will spike your adrenaline more than sitting in a theater and listen to an audience react to something you've written.

Here's my unsolicited advice to any aspiring screenwriters who might be reading this: Don’t ever agonize about the hordes of other writers who are ostensibly your competition. No one else is capable of doing what you do.

I want Maggie Gyllenhaal. I don't know why. I don't think she necessarily looks like me or acts like me, I just think she's a cool actress and she could play me, so there you go.

A lot of people are concerned with staying physically young...I'm more interested in maintaining my curiosity.

I myself identify as a recovering Blockhead. You'd be surprised how many twenty- and thirty-something hipster chicks have the NKOTB skeleton in their closet, albeit artfully concealed by stacks of Ksubi skinny jeans and ironic Judas Priest T-shirts.

I keep joking that I'm in Jason Reitman Film School, because I keep asking him questions every single day about directing and I have a list of things that he's told me to do and not do and I definitely couldn't learn from a better person.

The public's appetite for frothy, flippant blondes has waned, but Paris Hilton still fascinates me.

Los Angeles is often described as the nadir of vapidity, a smog-choked space cradle.

I do not quote my own movies. I think I would be pretty insufferable if I did.

I'm a pessimist by nature. I don't think things are ever going to work out, I'm not particularly ambitious.

I write small and weird. Romcoms are not in my skill set.

I think it's great when writers get recognition; it doesn't happen very often. I just don't want that writer to be me. Let it be Aaron Sorkin or, you know, somebody good.

The primary job for women in Hollywood is still super-attractive actress. That is the most high-profile women's job in Hollywood.

The one thing I have found about Hollywood is it's a town full of people who believe in themselves, often to a degree where they're what you would call "delusional."

I had gone to the bookstore, and while I hadn't bought any books on how to write a screenplay, I'd bought a couple of scripts so I could see how the formatting works. I just needed to know how a Hollywood screenplay looked on the page, which was something I was totally unfamiliar with.

I didn't even know how to talk to people, I didn't know how to talk to the press. I was just a jester. And I still feel that way. But, I mean, what haven't I learned? Everything that I know is new information because I was starting with nothing.

I grew up in the Midwest; you don't know any screenwriters. It didn't seem like a realistic career possibility.

I normally ignore the History Channel.

I really just love to open a blank document and spew, whereas with a screenplay I have to be more judicious.

To aspiring writers, I would tell them that we live in a wonderful time where you're able to make your work visible, easily. If you think about it, even ten years ago or twenty years ago, there was a middle man, there was a publisher, there were studios, there was this world of rejection letters. Now, we're in a place where we have the technology and the ability to go shoot our own movies or to put stuff on YouTube or a blog, if you're a writer, or self-publish.

I'm not an especially highbrow person, but I have always loved small, quirky, edgy movies.

I've always been a writer, I've always been a storyteller, but I never thought about screenwriting.

I've come to find more satisfaction and enjoyment in writing screenplays over the years because that's what I do primarily now.

It's actually much harder to develop a TV show than I had anticipated.

It's possible that I've matured as a writer, and I hope I've matured emotionally, but I always find myself revisiting these adolescent scenes.

Judy Blume excels at describing how it feels to be invisible. So how poetic is it that Blume herself is suddenly everywhere?

I am a karaoke purist and I don't like that. I don't think it's enough for you to just be there with your friends singing. I think you need to be in front of a crowd of hostile strangers for it to truly count.

I don't know why, but I've always been a sucker for roller coasters in movies.

I have a huge repertoire. I love karaoke.

As a kid, I spent every summer bent over a stack of books, obsessively writing detailed reports on each one.

I don't have a terrible singing voice, but I also wouldn't call it 'good.' I can carry a tune.

If a woman chooses to work, people say, "Oh it's so sad that you're not at home with your children." But no one ever says that to a man because it's assumed that the man is going to be the provider. There's this double standard that exists and it really frustrates me.

I usually try not to think about actors while writing, because the odds of those stars aligning and you getting those specific people are so rare.