Michael Flanders Quotations

I am going to be very critical of new positions, ... unless we can stop the bleeding.

If God had intended us to fly, he'd have never given us railways.

If God had intended us to fly, he would never have given us the railroads.

The purpose of satire has been rightly stated as to strip off the veneer of comforting illusion and cosy half truth, and our job, as I see it, is to put it back again!

The English, the English, The English are best: So Up with the English and Down with the Rest!

Eating people is wrong.

One of the great problems of the world today is undoubtedly this problem of not being able to talk to scientists, because we don't understand science; they can't talk to us because they don't understand anything else, poor dears.

If God had intended us to fly he would have given us railways.

A Bradypus or Sloth am I, / I live a life of ease, / Contented not to do or die / But idle as I please.

January brings the snow / Makes your feet and fingers glow / February's ice and sleet / Freeze the toes right off your feet / Welcome March with wintry wind / Would thou wer't not so unkind / April brings the sweet spring showers / On and on for hours and hours...

Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not.

In July the Sun is hot. Is it shining? No, it's not!