Robert A. Heinlein Quotations

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

One man's 'magic' is another man's engineering. 'Supernatural' is a null word.

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.

It's an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip.

By cultivating the beautiful we scatter the seeds of heavenly flowers, as by doing good we cultivate those that belong to humanity.

An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to its subjects, This you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know, the end result is tyranny and oppression no matter how holy the motives.

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.

They didn't want it good, they wanted it Wednesday.

I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

There is no way that writers can be tamed and rendered civilized or even cured. The only solution known to science is to provide the patient with an isolation room, where he can endure the acute stages in private and where food can be poked in to him with a stick.

One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.

The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

For me, politeness is a sine qua non of civilization.

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.

Political tags - such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth - are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.

A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill.

To be matter-of-fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy - and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do.

I don't see how an article of clothing can be indecent. A person, yes.

One could write a history of science in reverse by assembling the solemn pronouncements of highest authority about what could not be done and could never happen.

Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing - with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for the second and third place.

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

But goodness alone is never enough. A hard cold wisdom is required, too, for goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom invariably accomplishes evil.

To get anywhere, or even live a long time, a man has to guess, and guess right, over and over again, without enough data for a logical answer.

Human beings hardly ever learn from the experience of others. They learn; when they do, which isn't often, on their own, the hard way.

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -- in fact, they're almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other. Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil...

Remind me to write an article on the compulsive reading of news. The theme will be that most neuroses can be traced to the unhealthy habit of wallowing in the troubles of five billion strangers.

When any government, or church for that matter, undertakes to say to it's subjects, this you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know the end result is tyranny and oppression, no matter how holy the motive.

Once a month, some women act like men act all the time.

At least once every human should have to run for his life, to teach him that milk does not come from supermarkets, that safety does not come from policemen, that 'news' is not something that happens to other people. He might learn how his ancestors lived and that he himself is no different--in the crunch his life depends on his agility, alertness, and personal resourcefulness.

To be matter of fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy -- and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.

Was there ever a time when the majority was right? Notebooks of Lazarus Long, Robert A

Elephants aren't human but they are very nice people.

Do steers sign treaties with meat packers? Robert A

Don't ever become a pessimist, Ira; a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun--and neither can stop the march of events.

Another ingredient in a happy marriage: Budget the luxuries first! Notebooks of Lazarus Long, Robert A

What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it! Notebooks of Lazarus Long, Robert A

Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.

Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done. One could write a history of science in reverse by assembling the solemn pronouncements of highest authority about what could not be done and could never happen.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it.

I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts... because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting.

If you disturb the patient at such times, he may break into tears or become violent. and, if you shake him, he bites.

Beds do not matter, it is who is in a bed that counts.

A poet who reads his own verse in public may have other nasty habits.

A government-supported artist is an incompetent whore! Robert A

A great artist can look at an old woman, portray her exactly as she is... and force the viewer to see the pretty girl she used to be... more than that he can make anyone with the sensitivity of an armidillo see that this lovely young girl is still alive, prisoned inside her ruined body.

The hardest part of gaining any new idea is sweeping out the false ideaoccupying that niche.

How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven.

All's fair in love and war-what a contemptible lie! Notebooks of Lazarus Long, Robert A

It seems to me that any law that is not enforced and can't be enforced weakens all other laws.

A skunk is better company than a person who prides himself on being 'frank'.

Man has no moral instinct. He is not born with moral sense. You were not born with it, I was not - and a puppy has none. We acquire moral sense, when we do, through training, experience, and hard sweat of the mind.

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of honor, make him pay cash.

Any government will work if authority and responsibility are equal and coordinate. This does not insure “good” government, it simply insures that it will work. But such governments are rare — most people want to run things, but want no part of the blame. This used to be called the “backseat driver” syndrome.

Fulfillment in life is loving a good woman and killing a bad man.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

What are the facts? Again and again and again – what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what “the stars foretell,” avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable “verdict of history” – what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac but flowers work almost as well.

The profession of shaman has many advantages. It offers high status with a safe livelihood free of work in the dreary, sweaty sense. In most societies it offers legal privileges and immunities not granted to other men. But it is hard to see how a man who has been given a mandate from on High to spread tidings of joy to all mankind can be seriously interested in taking up a collection to pay his salary; it causes one to suspect that the shaman is on the moral level of any other con man. But it is a lovely work if you can stomach it.

The whole principle (censorship) is wrong; it's like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can't eat steak.

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, (cont. Specialization is for insects.

Happiness lies in being privileged to work hard for long hours in doing whatever you think is worth doing. One man may find happiness in supporting a wife and children. Another may find it in robbing banks. Still another may labor mightily for years in pu

Spacemen - men who work in space, pilots and jetmen and astrogators and such - are men who like a few million miles of elbow room.

The first principle of freedom is the right to go to hell in your own handbasket.

Pessimist by policy, optimist by temperament- it is possible to be both. How? By never taking an unnecessary chance and by minimizing the risks you can't avoid. This permits you to play out the game untroubled by the certainty of the outcome.

Some people insist that 'mediocre' is better than 'best.' They delight in clipping wings because they themselves can't fly. They despise brains because they have none.

I never do anything I don't want to do. Nor does anyone, but in my case I am always aware of it.

No woman ever ages beyond eighteen in her heart.

Stupidity cannot be cured. Stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death. There is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

In ascending order the qualities of Patriotism are: 1. To work, fight, or die for your own survival. 2. To work, fight, or die for your immediate family. 3. To work, fight, or die for a group, extended family, tribe, or clan. 4. To work, fight, or die for a group too large for all the individuals to know each other. 5. To work, fight, or die for a way of life.

Don't tell me violence doesn't solve anything. Look at Carthage.

There ought not to be anything in the whole universe that man can't poke his nose into-that's the way we're built and I assume that there's some reason for that.

Every time we killed a thousand Bugs at a cost of one M.I. it was a net victory for the Bugs. We were learning, expensively, just how efficient a total communism can be when used by a people actually adapted to it by evolution; the Bug commisars didn't care any more about expending soldiers than we cared about expending ammo. Perhaps we could have figured this out about the Bugs by noting the grief the Chinese Hegemony gave the Russo-Anglo-American Alliance; however the trouble with 'lessons from history' is that we usually read them best after falling flat on our chins.

The country and culture commonly known as "America" had had a badly split personality all through its history. Its overt laws were almost always puritanical for a people whose covert behavior tended to be Rabelaisian; its major religions were all Apollonian in varying degrees---its religious revivals were often hysterical in a fashion almost Dionysian.

I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much... because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting" ... But that's not all people laugh at." Isn't it? Perhaps I don't grok all its fullness yet. But find me something that really makes you laugh sweetheart... a joke, or anything else- but something that gave you a a real belly laugh, not a smile. Then we'll see if there isn't a wrongness wasn't there." He thought. "I grok when apes learn to laugh, they'll be people.

Work is not an end in itself; there must always be time enough for love.

Free will is a golden thread running through the frozen matrix of fixed events.

At one time kings were anointed by Deity, so the problem was to see to it that Deity chose the right candidate. In this age the myth is 'the will of the people' ... but the problem changes only superficially.

A committee is the only known form of life with a hundred bellies and no brain.

Abstract knowledge is always useful, sooner or later.

An animal so poor in spirit that he won't even fight on his own behalf is already an evolutionary dead end; the best he can do for his breed is to crawl off and die, and not pass on his defective genes.