Andy Rooney Mean Quotations

The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.

I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?

I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.

Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.

I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.

I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare let the day go by without making an offering, whether you mean it or not. Money exceeds affection.

If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.