Just as the sun is infinitely brighter than a candle flame, there is infinitely more intelligence in Being than in your mind
Use whatever challenge comes into your life as a kind of fuel for the flame of consciousness. That is done through surrender to what is. Some people may need more of that than others. If you choose presence in your daily life you may not need the drastic challenges.
Pain is the fuel that lights the flame of our enlightenment
A person dies, or something you had identified with completely is gone. Your home goes up in flames. There is extreme pain at first. But whenever a form dissolves, which is called "death," what remains is an opening into emptiness.