Nick Offerman Changing Quotations

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.

Just stand up for your principals and be loyal to your friends and family.

I'm opposed to a lot of the time that we as a civilization have come to spend looking at screens. For my money, life is much delicious damn near everyplace but inside that screen.

The world is split into two halves: the bacon, and the bacon eaters.

Men and women alike, if you think that altering the tip of your nose with surgery will make you happier, I would suggest you alter something much more malleable than your flesh, like your priorities, or your friends.

No matter how you decide to spend a little more time on your gestures of giving, the point is just quite simply that you do.

Shut your damn mouth.

Don't use barbiturates before going on stage. And be honest.