Patton Oswalt Long Quotations

Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.

We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.

As you get older, as a comedian, and keep doing it, what you actually start to cherish on stage is not the build-up to the jokes, but how comfortable you can be in the silence and the non-laughing parts, and how long you can take the audience without a laugh to then get a huge reaction.

You can be an amateur and have a passion for something, but it takes a long time to actually become a professional, meaning that you can handle any situation.