Hitchhiking Quotations

This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

When is the last time you saw a Lamborghini sale?

Sanctuary cities are a lot like hitchhiking. And the abstract, it feels really good until you feel dead.

The "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" hitchhiker really made people never want to hitchhike again - the hitcher, the show. Hitchhiking is always vaguely sexual.

I really didn't have any bad hitchhiking experiences. The only bad experiences were standing by the road for 10 hours. I never thought I'd get a ride with a ministers wife or a coalminer or a Republican elected official. It was all pleasant surprises. The only drag was the waiting.

Hitchhiking, intrinsically, is sexual and dangerous. At the same time I never really felt scared. I was scared that nobody would pick me up and that I'd be waiting by the side of the road for a week.

The world is a thing of utter inordinate complexity and richness and strangeness that is absolutely awesome.

Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.

Generally, old media don't die. They just have to grow old gracefully. Guess what, we still have stone masons. They haven't been the primary purveyors of the written word for a while now of course, but they still have a role because you wouldn't want a TV screen on your headstone.

Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.

Life! Don't talk to me about life!

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.

Funny, how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.

Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.

I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.