If Quotations

Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.

My husband was just OK looking. I was in labor and I said to him, 'What if she's ugly? You're ugly.

Bankers - pillars of society who are going to hell if there is a God and He has been accurately quoted.

If I could find anything blacker than black, I'd use it.

You know it's very difficult to be an actor, and to have people depending on you to say the right line, at the right time, and to not be able to hear your cues! I can't tell you how many times I would've had to have said What? if I didn't have my hearing aids. So my hearing aids are a life saver, and they allow me to practice my craft.

I was at a point where I was ready to say I am what I am because of what I am and if you like me I'm grateful, and if you don't, what am I going to do about it?

In society, we have these unspoken rules of conduct, these 'shoulds.' Even though we pride ourselves on being a democracy, there are all these ways we say you 'should' behave. But what if you're living your life by the 'shoulds' and you're not really living your life?

If I could sing, I wouldnt be a guitarist.

I think there's a part of us that fantasizes about having some sort of super power. If I could have one, it would definitely be teleportation!

If you're going to figure something out, study ethics. You can ask What's the answer? What's Right and Wrong? What I learned is that nobody knows the answer and there is no Right and Wrong. So I'm incapable of becoming a fundamentalist because there are no absolutes, there's always a what if.

I've written a song for Prince. I never showed it to Prince, but just to see if I could do it. At the time, when I sort of knew him, he was recording a song a day. I wondered if I could do that. So I wrote it.

Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.

Women are always complaining about men's fascination with breasts. But what if men were absolutely indifferent to breasts? What would women do then with these things that serve one function once or twice in a lifetime, and the rest of the time are just in the way?

If there is a God, whence proceed so many evils? If there is no God, whence cometh any good?

If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion.

What if capitalism is unsustainable, and socialism is impossible?

If I could live in New York the rest of my life, I absolutely would, but it's also prohibitively expensive and you have to be working. New York is a lot nicer when you have a job.

If I could work with any actor it would have to be Johnny Depp. He is cool.

The counter-argument would be, so what if my sexual relationships are superficial, one can still have satisfying and rewarding relationships with friends, or parents, or siblings, or whatever.

I like my old nose. If I could get it out the cupboard and put it on, then I would.

If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is - holy war.

Most important thought, if you love someone, tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

What if we all suddenly get carried away thinking - who will be left to act?

Some authors, when starting a novel, imagine a place first. Others, a character starts taking shape in their head. I start with a hook, a situation, a 'what if.

I'm not coming from film school. I learned cinema in the cinema watching films, so you always have a curiosity. I say, 'Well, what if I make a film in this genre? What if I make this film like this'

If I could have a special power in real life I'd love to fly.

I used to wake up and look at our analytics and think, 'What if yesterday was the last day anyone used Pinterest?' Like, everyone collectively decided, 'We're done!' Over time I got more confidence.

At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.

I choose parts because I don't want to be embarrassed when the movie comes out. What if my friends were to see the movie? What if my niece or nephew wandered into the theater and saw the movie? I don't want to be too ashamed of it.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

My father wasn't perfect. He had a temper. I took some of that. He would snap, but the older he got, he started calming down. He learned about life, but the thing that he taught my whole family was that family was the most important thing and, no matter what, if a family member needs you, you go and help them out; you get there.

Alternate history fascinates me, as it fascinates all novelists, because 'What if?' is the big thing.

You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.

It's easy to dislike the few senior women out there. What if women were half the positions in power? It would be harder to dislike all of them.

A lot of amateurs are terrified of going up against a player who is clearly better than they are. They never play their best, because they aren't comfortable. There's one surefire way to get over that, and it's to ask yourself, 'What if I beat him?' Imagine the possibility.

You know, parenting is so personal. And we're all afraid that we didn't quite get it right. And it feels like the stakes are so high. By we - what if we made a mistake?

I would like to be Pope if I could.

If I could read it, I could play it.

Do any of us actually want to live in a world where your boss can decide that he or she is morally opposed to mental health care? What if your employer was morally opposed to getting x-rays or antibiotics? How about just being forced to disclose your private medical information to your employer?

What if Shakespeare had had a test audience for Romeo and Juliet or Hamlet?

In my life, I was always floating around the edge of the dark side and saying what if take it a little bit too far, and who says you have to stop there, and whats behind the next door. Maybe you gain a wisdom from examining those things. But after a while, you get too far down in the quicksand.

If I could make noise with anything, I was going to.

I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live as if there isn't and to die to find out that there is.

I have been asked what would I ban immediately if I could. Advertising.

Picasso said, 'Art is a lie that tells the truth.' What if you just want to tell the truth and not lie about it?

What if Woody Allen called me and said, I'm working on this movie and there's a really divine role for you. We want exactly you! It would be such a fantasy. Forget it! My idol, Woody Allen!

I love to eat, and if I could, I'd eat every second of my life.

I'm a scientist, not a theologian. I don't know if there is a God or not. Religion requires certainty.

I'd say any good set or any comedy that I've worked on, that's worked, has been comedians pitching ideas back and forth to each other. A lot of like, 'What if you say this? What about this?'

It's no accident many accuse me of conducting public affairs with my heart instead of my head. Well, what if I do? Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either.

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.

If I could write the perfect novella I would die happy.

What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.

If there is a God, then he was particularly harsh to me

I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.

My tendency as an actor was to correct people, was to say, 'What if we tried it this way, what about if we tried that way?' That's terrible habit for an actor, but that's a good habit for director. So I became a director.

I love to sleep. I'd sleep all day if I could.

There are no limits to where our brains can take us. We are, if there be a God, God's gracious creation.

Science and fiction both begin with similar questions: What if? Why? How does it all work? But they focus on different areas of life on earth.

Do we really need these big, gigantic, heavy rockets? What if we launch a rocket that's empty, and its sole purpose is to act as a source of fuel on the Moon? Who should build that? Well, I think the U.S. should build that.

I'm convinced that sending people to Mars is so expensive that if you go once and bring the people back and then go again and bring the people back, we're eventually going to run out of money. But what if we send people the first time and they don't come back? What if they stay there?

People asked if I could have played the Terminator. Are you kidding? Not a chance, I never could have played the Terminator.

An actor is supposed to be a sensitive instrument. Isaac Stern takes good care of his violin. What if everybody jumped on his violin?

What if I couldn't handle people's opinions of me? I know that shouldn't dictate a person's degree of peace or happiness in life, but the problem is, I chose a business saturated in judgment.

No matter what, if you're a parent, you have to make sacrifices.

Sometimes you regret the things you do, but they're over and done. Regretting the things you didn't do is tougher because they're still out there, haunting you with the what ifs.

Look, I don't know whether God exists. I don't know that. And I tell you one thing, I am not frightened of my beliefs. If there is a God who is threatening me with damnation because I don't believe in Him, so be it. I've lived my life in conscience, and I will suffer damnation willingly in conscience against a tyrannical God who would damn me because, on the basis of the intelligence He gave me, I have come to a conclusion doubting His existence, and I will continue to be a skeptic all of my life.

What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!

What worries me is, what if this guy is really the one for me and I just haven't had enough therapy yet for me to be comfortable with having found him.

What if we knew what tomorrow would bring? Would we fix it? Could we?

I contend that we are the first race in the world, and that the more of the world we inhabit the better it is for the human race...If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British Red as possible...

If there be a God, I think he would like me to paint Africa British-Red as possible.

If there is a God, he or she or it or whatever higher power there is is behind us so long as we're using our music in an inspirational way. I'm here for a reason, and I was given a talent, so I'll continue to try to use it.

I don't think it matters if there is a god or not. I've met people who believe in God that are good and that are bad. And I've met people who don't believe in God that are good and that are bad. So, just be good. I'm good. Not cos I think I'll go to heaven but because when I do something bad, I feel bad. And when I do something good, I feel good.

If there is a God, why did he make me an atheist?

I think about God, yes, and I wonder if there is a God. And if there is a God, will God please help me through my hard trips.

You can't get a dolphin. What are you gonna do, like, put it in your pool?

when I first began this diary I said I would give a record of my inner life. I begin to wonder if I have said anything about my inner life. What if I have no inner life?

What if, every time I started to invent something, I asked, 'How would nature solve this?'

My liveliest interest is not so much in things, as in relations of things. I have spent much time thinking about the alleged pseudo-relations that are called coincidences. What if some of them should not be coincidences?

If you see cattle as a source of organic manure, animal energy, as well as milk products, then Indian cattle are not inferior. It is only when you measure them as milk machines that they become inferior. What if we measured the dairy cows of America or Jersey or the Swiss Alps in terms of their work functions? They would be terribly inferior.

Alright, all right," I said. "What if I tell you a story, instead?" Highlanders loved stories, and Jamie was no exception. "Oh, aye, " he said, sounding much happier. "What sort of story is it?

If I could not be persuaded into doing what I thought wrong, I will never be tricked into it.

I always imagined music trapped inside my clarinet, not trapped inside of me. But what if music is what escapes when a heart breaks?

But what if music is what escapes when a heart breaks?

What if?' history is a tricky game, but there is no doubt that the senior planners of D-Day - including Eisenhower and the British general Bernard Montgomery - believed that the Double Cross operation had played a pivotal role in the victory.

When life gives you lemons, throw them at the zombies.

If I could have done anything more, it would have been less

But I don't think it's as dangerous, scary, or terrifying as getting to the end of our lives and wondering, what if I would have shown up?

It may be a brief interruption - just a few seconds - but what if someone sitting near you is trying to make a decent bootleg? Did you ever think of that? Now all those street-corner copies are permanently defiled by your so-called 'emergency.' Don't be so damn selfish.

What if Jesus was the only normal person who ever lived?

What if what you do to survive kills the things you love?

Hey, what if those crop circles are just ads for Target?

Grapes are juicy. Strawberries. Oranges. Good pork chops are succulent," said Dusty. "But the word isn't accurately descriptive of a person." Smiling with delight, Ahriman said, "Oh, really, not accurately descriptive? Be careful housepainter. Your genes are showing. What if I were a cannibal?

And what if---what are you if the people who are supposed to love you can leave you like you're nothing?

If I could have had my own way, I would have confined myself to black and white.

What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you.

It terrified me to consider: What if, as a grown-up, I craved another body beside me as still as this one? What then?

If you want me . . . you’ve got me.