Danny Devito Quotations

There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?

It's just an ice bucket with a bottle in it. The two flute glasses are little tray. I got to shut the curtains. I'm in my boxer shorts and shirt. I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. But I want to shut the blinds so it's really dark in the room.

In this movie, you have all the things you love from Tim. All the magic and the whimsy and the surreal, but he also has a fantastic story of a father and son that really gets under your skin.

I'll tell you one thing, it's a cruel, cruel world.

It's fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you're not safe, when you're not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway.

What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do.

I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.

I didn't do it because of the underlying greed that's prevailing, but it is about greed, doing the right thing at the right time using your clout when you have it and what for and what reason.

I lay on the ground, but then I can't reach - I don't want to take my foot out of the tub - but I've got to call somebody because I've got to get a band-aid or something to stop the bleeding.

I developed that for a long time. I also developed 'Sugar Sweet Science' at New Line and that didn't happen. That was a boxing movie. And between all that there were a couple of other things.

So we see Edward as a young man on the road and he meets a giant and he brings the giant to a circus where he meets a Miss Calloway. He sees the woman of his dreams and I am the only one who knows who she is.

We did 'Erin Brockovich,' we did 'Man on the Moon,' we did 'Living Out Loud,' but now I'm going to keep going.

So, you pick this stuff here and this stuff there and then you see things in certain ways and you start visualizing and thank God I get the chance to do this. It's really the greatest thing in the whole wide world.

What would a smarter person than me do? Then do it!

Well, you know, I feel like it's about a lot of things. The reason that I made it was because I thought it was really funny and unique and just a different genre.

I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.

The whole point of love is to put someone else’s needs above your own.

We don't even know if we're in this room. We could be in a turtle's dream in outer space.

Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.

A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful the way you lean.

When we get out of this, I'm gonna shove my fist right into your ass, hard and fast Not in the sexual way! In the 'I am pissed off' sort of way.

Christmas is a good excuse to eat everything.

A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.

Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.

I don’t look ahead. I’m right here with you. It’s a good way to be.

I'm always studying and I've been doing it for a long time now.

I love going to all kinds of movies, I screen DVDs in my house, but I go to the theatre a lot in the afternoon. I don't get bugged because there aren't many people around.

I climbed like a billion stairs... its not like I can take them two at a time.

In order for the light of gratitude and happiness to shine so brightly, the darkness of how it could be worse must be present.

What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start..

A lot of it revolves around food with me because a lot of my life does in a way.

It don't care whether I'm good enough. It don't care whether I snore or not. It don't care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts, and money.

I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.

Even if one doesn't smoke pot, one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it.

It's unfortunate that the entire country is a racist country.We're living in a country that discriminates, and has certain racist tendencies.

America's racist, so what do you expect.

The son has always felt like he was a footnote in one of the stories the father tells. The father is an amazing storyteller and one of the tales that he tells is how he met his wife.

Documentaries really hold a lens up to life and capture real emotions. It's so rich for me to see a film and know that it's real. I love being invested in real situations and ... the things people go through in life.

What Tim does is, he calls me and sends me the script. And then he sends me a drawing, an illustration of his image of me as the character. It's so great.

This big part flies off on the floor. The other part goes like this and lands in my foot! Standing up! It's standing in my foot! Right in the side of my foot. The flute glass. I think I'm like in one of my own pictures.

I'll tell you one thing. I love Philadelphia. One of the first things I did outside of New York was at the Theater of the Living Arts on South Street.

Edward's the kind of actor who is always nosing into it, trying to find it, looking for it, and searching and Robin is, too, but in his own way.

Even when you read the script of 'Big Fish,' which is really a terrific script, you don't really get into the world that he's creating until you take that step with him, that first step into a world he's created in his mind.

This was this guy's passion. He sat in movie theaters when he probably was supposed to make collections and break some knees or something.