Bill Maher White Quotations

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: he never apologizes; he's never wrong no matter what crazy thing he says. He's the white Kanye.

President Obama invited John McCain to the White House to give his opinion on Egypt, specifically what it's like to be a mummy.

Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces.

There's a new iPad out...People are going nuts for this thing...And, today, Mitt Romney said, 'It's a flat piece of white plastic. If you can love it, why not me?'

It's very well known that the Republicans have problems with minorities. The Democrats have big problems with white people. Obama only got 39% of the vote. He only got 36% of the working-class white people.

I want to see riots! I want to see the kind of riots where cab drivers are afraid to pick up white people! I want to see this guy!

Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But you know, there is a big difference between Ted Cruz and snow. Both are white and everyone’s sick of them – but eventually snow goes away.

New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black man loots house, steals white woman.'

Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a pillow.

The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, 'You know what? Let's just grab lunch.'

Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America, except he has to show I.D. when he votes.