Elayne Boosler Years Quotations

I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live?

Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.

As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year.

A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.

Many animal rescue organizations hit with a hard-core, heartbreaking message. Their videos and stories can become difficult for average people to watch. By taking a more positive, heartwarming approach to animal rescue, I've been able to engage people and keep them engaged for years. Instead of selling the agony and misery - and sadly, there is no shortage of that - I start with the happy endings. I work backwards so the first message they get is joy and success due to their involvement. Opening the mind with humor and joy gets the rescue message in that much deeper.