Greg Behrendt You Quotations

We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.

Because here’s what guys don’t do if they can’t live without you: They don’t break up with you.

..he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.

I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.

People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.

Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would...