Greg Behrendt People Quotations

I don't know if you know you're funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I'm funny because people tell me I am, but when I watch myself, it doesn't make me laugh. Does that make sense? Because I know the jokes, and to me, I feel like I'm pulling the wool over people's eyes. And there are probably people who do not enjoy what I do.

I rarely sit down to write something. I usually have an experience and relate it to somebody and go, 'There I connected some dots,' you know? That's what makes people laugh. And then you go and take it on the stage, and sometimes it works, and sometimes people go, 'What's he talking about?' I don't know; I thought it was it funny in the kitchen.

Most authors writing books like 'He's Just Not That Into You' dream of doing what I was being asked to do. I didn't like it. I'm good at giving advice, but doing it on TV and radio felt wrong, and when people resisted my point of view, I was like, 'Why am I doing this? This was not the plan.' So I stopped. It didn't make me feel good.

I get giddy with the idea of stringing words together that make people laugh.

I don't have a massive fan base. I don't have Patton Oswalt numbers, but the fan base I have is incredibly generous, and of the 22,000 people who follow me on Twitter, I think almost all of those people participate.

Social media is a really cool way to tell your story to people who are interested in hearing it. It's not getting put through the filter of a television executive who's decided you're too old to justify the expenditure.

I don't have to edit myself, ... I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.

Sometimes people change their minds, sometimes they meet someone else, sometimes they get sober, and sometimes he was just a jerk who you're lucky to be rid of.

We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep.

There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you're Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it's your relationship that's insecure, not his bank account.

People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love.

It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.

Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.

But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation

There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show.

Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.

Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time.

Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down.

People don't admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks.

People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.

I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.