Johnny Carson Want Quotations

If God didn't want man to hunt, He wouldn't have given us plaid shirts.

I heard from my cat's lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles.

Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian.

Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.

Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made; if you can't, you're out.

Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll sing it to me.