Mark Twain Atheist Quotations

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.

If there is a God, he is a malign thug.

The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.

It was the schoolboy who said, ""Faith is believing what you know ain't so.""

No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

Our Bible reveals to us the character of our god with minute and remorseless exactness... It is perhaps the most damnatory biography that exists in print anywhere. It makes Nero an angel of light and leading by contrast.

I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.

Strange a God who mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness, then invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none Himself; who frowns upon crimes yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon Himself; and finally with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship Him!

Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.