Mark Twain Good Quotations

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it.

In 'Huckleberry Finn,' I have drawn Tom Blankenship exactly as he was. He was ignorant, unwashed, insufficiently fed; but he had as good a heart as ever any boy had.

New Year's Day - Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

The plan of the newspaper is good and wise; when you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one

God has put somrthing noble and good into every heart His hand created.

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of our selves, and how little we think of the other person

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

God puts something good and something lovable in every man His hands create.

There is a good side and a bad side to most people, and in accordance with your own character and disposition you will bring out one of them and the other will remain a sealed book to you

It is nobler to be good, and it is nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble!

...It is hard to overestimate how far a man can go in America if he looks good on a horse.

Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.

Rail-splitting produced an unparalleled president in Lincoln. But gold hasn't produced even a good A-1 congressman.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

It usually takes me three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

It's a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old

It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling

There is nothing more frustrating than a good example.

I hate editors, for they make me abandon a lot of perfectly good English words.

Be good and you'll be lonesome

The catfish is Plenty good enough fish for anyone

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!

Be good and you will be lonely.

What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it.

Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.

All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.

When everyone is looking for gold, it's a good time to be in the pick and shovel business.

Good judgment comes from experience. And where does experience come from? Experience comes from bad judgment.

Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.

Humor is the good natured side of a truth.

Indeed, none but the Deity can tell what is good luck and what is bad before the returns are all in.

Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night.

He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

There is only one good sex. The female one.

Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good.

Trial by jury is the palladium of our liberties. I do not know what a palladium is, but I am sure it is a good thing!

If books are not good company, where shall I find it?

None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.

Good fathers not only tell us how to live, they show us.