Mark Twain Awful Quotations

Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.

In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.

I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.

A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years.

Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.