Prince Philip Quotations

Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.

I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves.

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

The art of being a good guest is to know when to leave

We live in what virtually amounts to a museum -- which does not happen to a lot of people.

Dontopedology is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it

The biggest waste of water in the country is when you spend half a pint and flush two gallons.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

The bastards murdered half my family

I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit.

If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.

A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.

Wildlife of the world is disappearing... simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect

So you are the people tearing down the Brazilian rainforest and breeding cattle.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

I therefore suggested that WWF should invite leaders from the major religions to meet together to discuss what - if any - responsibility they felt they had for the natural environment as a "sacred" entity.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want.

Do you work in a strip club?

It's a vast waste of space.

You could do with losing a little bit of weight.

What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer.

So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs.

You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.

I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!

We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun. You just got on with it!

You ARE a woman, aren't you?

British women can't cook.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

For conservation to be successful it is necessary to take into consideration that it is a characteristic of man that he can only be relied upon to do anything consistently which is in his own interest.

It's difficult to see how it's possible to become immensely valuable by singing what are the most hideous songs.

Ah, you're the one who wrote the letter. So you can write then?

It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from school art lessons.

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I've practised for many years.

We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves.

I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.

People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

There's a cord sticking out of the back. Might you tell me where it goes?

We go into the red next year... I shall have to give up polo.

Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?

But we are not going to be able to survive on this limited planet if the population keeps on growing: there isn't going to be anything left.

I've never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing.

Books are certainly old fashioned, but only people with a very limited perception are silly enough to condemn ideas because of their age. It is, of course, equally silly to condemn the new fangled simply because it is strange...

Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease.

It's not a very big one, but at least it's dead and it took an awful lot of killing!

Only a Scotsman can really survive a Scottish education.

As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.

They're not mating are they?

I must confess that I am interested in leisure in the same way that a poor man is interested in money.

I am full of admiration for the technologists who have developed all sorts of gadgets for the purpose of improving communications. However, I believe that all these fascinating machines are complementary to, and not substitutes for, books and the printed word.

The more people there are, the more food we need, the more space we occupy, the more resources and consumer goods we wish to have and the more development has to take place

It is frequently more rewarding merely to ask pertinent questions. It may get someone to go and look for an answer.

It is an old cliche to say that the future is in the hands of the young. This is no longer true. The quality of life to be enjoyed or the existence to be survived by our children and future generations is in our hands now.

There is nothing like it for morale to be reminded that the years are passing - ever more quickly - and that bits are dropping off the ancient frame. But it is nice to be remembered at all.

If anyone has a new idea in this country, there are twice as many people who keep putting a man with a red flag in front of it.

Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.

In the end we must, I think, somehow conclude that they have as much right to this planet as we have.

That's more than you know about anything else then.

They're a damn nuisance - I've got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off.

Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf.

Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don't you have a slogan: 'Kill a cat and save a bird?'

Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species.

I never see any home cooking - all I get is fancy stuff.

Were you here in the bad old days? ... That's why you can't read and write then!

And what exotic part of the world do you come from?

They have eating dogs for the anorexic now.

No, I'd probably end up spitting it out over everybody.

Constitutionally I don't exist.

It seems to me that it's the best way of wasting money that I know of. I don't think investments on the moon pay a very high dividend.

Can you tell the difference between them?

You look like you're ready for bed!

We are suffering a national defeat comparable to any lost military campaign, and what is more, it is self- inflicted? It is about time that we pulled our fingers out? The rest of the world most certainly does not owe us a living.

Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival. We're in for a major disaster if it isn't curbed...We have no option. If it isn't controlled voluntarily, it will be controlled involuntarily by an increase in disease, starvation and war.

This could only happen in a technical college.

My favourite subject at school was avoiding unnecessary work.

That's a nice tie... Do you have any knickers in that material?

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.

People say after a fire it's water damage that's the worst. We're still drying out Windsor Castle.

"It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." He later backtracked: "I meant to say cowboys."

There's a lot of your family in tonight.

You managed not to get eaten then?

Are you running away from something?

You bloody silly fool!

Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant.

Tolerance is the one essential ingredient ... You can take it from me that the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance.

I have very little experience of self-government. In fact, I am one of the most governed people in the world.

There are always twenty excellent reasons for doing nothing for every one reason for starting anything-especially if it has never been done before.

If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.

We don't come here for our health.

Oh, it's you that owns that ghastly car, is it?

Oh! You're the people ruining the rivers.

Do you still throw spears at each filmother?

It doesn't look like much work goes on at this university.

You were playing your instruments? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?