Prince Philip Classic Quotations

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

Do you work in a strip club?

It's a vast waste of space.

You could do with losing a little bit of weight.

What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer.

So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs.

We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun. You just got on with it!

You ARE a woman, aren't you?

British women can't cook.

It's difficult to see how it's possible to become immensely valuable by singing what are the most hideous songs.

Ah, you're the one who wrote the letter. So you can write then?

There's a cord sticking out of the back. Might you tell me where it goes?

Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?

I've never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing.

Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease.

It's not a very big one, but at least it's dead and it took an awful lot of killing!

Only a Scotsman can really survive a Scottish education.

They're not mating are they?

That's more than you know about anything else then.

Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf.

Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species.

Were you here in the bad old days? ... That's why you can't read and write then!

And what exotic part of the world do you come from?

They have eating dogs for the anorexic now.

No, I'd probably end up spitting it out over everybody.

Can you tell the difference between them?

This could only happen in a technical college.

That's a nice tie... Do you have any knickers in that material?

"It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." He later backtracked: "I meant to say cowboys."

There's a lot of your family in tonight.

You managed not to get eaten then?

Are you running away from something?

You bloody silly fool!

We don't come here for our health.

Oh! You're the people ruining the rivers.

Do you still throw spears at each filmother?

It doesn't look like much work goes on at this university.

You were playing your instruments? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?

Aren't most of you descended from pirates?

The French don't know how to cook breakfast.

You have mosquitoes. I have the Press.

If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion.

You're not wearing mink knickers,are you?

I suppose I'd get in trouble if I were to melt them down.

So this is feminist corner then.

Why don't you go and live in a hostel to save cash?

I don't know how they're going to integrate in places like Glasgow and Sheffield.

Do people trip over you?

It's my custom to say something flattering to begin with so I shall be excused if I put my foot in it later on.

It makes you all look like Dracula's daughters!