Roseanne Barr Men Quotations

I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now I, working as the physical manifestation of the goddess Isis and the reincarnation of Cleopatra, have decided to save the world.

Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need righteous and strong men who will help us to use our most cherished gifts: the ability to multitask and problem solve.

I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with.

Those who can't do, teach. And, as Woody Allen says, those who can't teach, teach gym. And, as I say, those who can't teach gym become experts. That's who we look to for answers these days-the people telling you how to make your marriage work. Men telling women how to raise their self-esteem. The only thing that cures everything is talking to people who have the same problem you do. The rest is just a moneymaking bullshit scheme that some asshole is getting rich on.

Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it.

You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.

A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like a doughnut.

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

There isn't any New Man. The New Man is the old man, only he whines more.

Eat as much as you'd like. My philosophy has always been that all women desire to be as fat as myself but just have a great fear of doing so. Because they think they won't get any men, but you will. You'll get more men, and better men.

A lot of men are impotent and it's very sad. How many of you are impotent? I see. Can't get your arms up either?