Russell Lynes Wise Quotations

Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...

Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you.

I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

I'm sorry, I'm a little busy. Can i ignore you later?

Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own.

Your village just called. They're missing an idiot.

And I thought I had problems? Look at your face!

Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission.

If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

The most effective comeback to an insult is silence.