Demetri Martin Favorite Quotations

I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.

I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.

Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.

Usually my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.