Doug Stanhope Night Quotations

There's a fraudulent root element of comedy in that we say things night after night as though they are rolling effortlessly from the brain and off the tongue, when in fact they are crafted over weeks and months and years.

I immediately split the crowd. I thought about coming on every night and shouting, Gay pride, white power! just to confuse people.

Theres a fraudulent root element of comedy in that we say things night after night as though they are rolling effortlessly from the brain and off the tongue, when in fact they are crafted over weeks and months and years.

I drink every night. But I don't hang out and party. Not that I'm selling out Madison Square Garden, but in the old days after a show you could hang out with a few people. But now you're hanging around with 20 people, all of whom don't know each other, and they're all, "Leave my outgoing greeting on my voice mail, man, come on!"

The revolution I was starting where I thought I could yell at 200 people in a bar every night and change the world didn't quite happen.

I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker last night.