Doug Stanhope Comedy Quotations

There's a fraudulent root element of comedy in that we say things night after night as though they are rolling effortlessly from the brain and off the tongue, when in fact they are crafted over weeks and months and years.

I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im paying to see a comedy, then I just want to see whos funniest, with everyone treated equally.

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.

In 20 years of comedy, I've probably had a dozen good points.

Unfortunately this is where comedy works, where people are the most miserable.