Eoin Colfer School Quotations

When I went to school, I was already reading and writing. In fact, I was offended that the other kids couldn't.

I was lucky I was never bullied at school - I had a great gang of friends.

When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.

Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder

Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.