Erma Bombeck Food Quotations

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.

What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer.

Mother's words of wisdom: Answer me! Don't talk with food in your mouth!

It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.

Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.