Henny Youngman Horse Quotations

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.

My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, "Which way do I go?" But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...