Mark Twain Average Quotations

Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain

The average American girl possesses the valuable qualities of naturalness, honesty, and inoffensive straightforwardness; she is nearly barren of troublesome conventions and artificialities; consequently, her presence and her ways are unembarrassing,

A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.

An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I've dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three and a half... I never write metropolis for seven cents, because I can get the same money for city. I never write policeman, because I can get the same price for cop.... I never write valetudinarian at all, for not even hunger and wretchedness can humble me to the point where I will do a word like that for seven cents; I wouldn't do it for fifteen.

All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country; after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.

It shames the average man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth.

The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average Frenchman who, as a rule, was in considerable doubt as to who his father was.

I am persuaded that the world has been tricked into adopting some false and most pernicious notions about consistency - and to such a degree that the average man has turned the rights and wrongs of things entirely around and is proud to be "consistent," unchanging, immovable, fossilized, where it should be his humiliation.

There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it.

The average man don't like trouble and danger.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.