Mark Twain Death Quotations

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients, no, three, I think / yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.

The funerals of these, ... do not occur often enough.

Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.

If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.

I think we never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead--and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead, and they would be honest so much earlier.

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

How lovely is death; and how niggardly it is doled out.

Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.

The only certainties in life are death and taxes.

All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.

It has been reported that I was seriously ill--it was another man; dying--it was another man; dead--the other man again...As far as I can see, nothing remains to be reported, except that I have become a foreigner. When you hear it, don't you believe it. And don't take the trouble to deny it. Merely just raise the American flag on our house in Hartford and let it talk.

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

The Impartial Friend: Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all--the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.

Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart.

Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.

It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.

A distinguished man should be as particular about his last words as he is about his last breath. He should write them out on a slip of paper and take the judgment of his friends on them. He should never leave such a thing to the last hour of his life, and trust to an intellectual spurt at the last moment to enable him to say something smart with his latest gasp and launch into eternity with grandeur.