Chris Hardwick Quotations | Page 2

I dated around some, but I've always been a serial monogamist. I don't know how people date around a lot, and not want to stab themselves in the face with a sharp object.

Do you think Patrick Swayze now goes up behind people in pottery classes and hugs them just to crack up other ghosts?

The worst day ever was when I found out my grandfather was going to die.

I probably get one or two days off every five or six weeks.

I have opinions about the differences between Memphis barbecue and Texas barbecue. Put me in the kitchen and you'll see how Southern I can be.

I've been out of work so many times in my life that relying too much on just one job is terrifying.

If I wasn't acting or doing stand-up, I would be in animation. Or if I had the discipline I might studies physics.

My mom is a big sports fans. Basketball, football, baseball, whatever. She calls into sports radio shows and gets into shouting matches, that's how intense she is about it.

In the '90s, you couldn't say the word 'nerd' to someone when pitching a show. They would have considered that too niche and wouldn't have listened.

Like lycanthropy, the nerd gene can skip a generation. My maternal grandfather was a technophile.

Nerdists, unlike nerds, tend to be creators as much as consumers. They're creative consumers.

I like listening to people talk about things that they love. They get to express things they don't normally get to express.

I learned not to confuse 'busy' with 'productive,' but I'm still far too addicted to email to resist its early-morning digital snuggles.

Both my parents recognized early on that I wanted to do something in comedy, and they were really supportive. They're the ones who bought me Steve Martin records and let me watch R-rated comedies long before they probably should have.

A big company is like trying to steer a luxury liner.

Any time you're lucky enough to get on a show people watch, it's a good thing.

The nerds provide the toys that distract the morons. So the nerds are sort of the new drug-dealers. We're the drug dealers of the 21st century because we provide all the brain candy for the mouth-breathers, for lack of a better word.

Bowling really was a big American sport in the '50s, '60s, and '70s, and then it kind of died off in the '80s.

Don't tell television, but there is some superior programming being made on the Interwebz.

I am a freelancer. My services are available to anyone at any time.

I don't really read reviews and comments that much. There just isn't a lot to be gained from it.

I feel like so much of why I sort of want to work in television is so that people know to come see me live.

The 'Hipster Nerds' like stuff because they hate it. It's like they ironically like it.

The lifeblood of YouTube is sharing.

When I was growing up, I was as socially outcast as any nerd could possibly be. I was in the chess club, I brought D&D stuff to school, I had every game system you could imagine, I spent countless hours at arcades, computer camp, loud presence in the Latin Club. All that stuff.

The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.

Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.

If you're looking to freelance, just get as many gigs going as you can, and you can make it work. It's about getting as many side projects as possible, keeping as many balls in the air as you can, and what you're doing, basically, is diversifying your portfolio, with the same kinds of rewards. One falls through, and you still have another one to work on.

Trying to make strangers laugh is crazy and more than a little narcissistic.

The goal of almost every comic is to find a comedy voice - a specific point of view that an audience can latch onto.

You can't throw money at the Internet to make it work - it really is all about the quality of the content.

When you look at your freelance career, it's really like a mall. And if you look at a mall, it's a self-contained system that has a flow and logic to it. You'll probably have one or two really bigger jobs, those are like your anchor stores.

We are in niche consumption mode, but 'niche' doesn't mean 'small' anymore. Niche can mean focused, and particularly with the Web, which is a global audience you can have something niche and still get 10 to 15 million views.

You don't need 30 million people to listen to your podcast. If 10,000 people listen to your podcast, which is not a hard number to achieve, then 10,000 people are listening, and you can build a community, and literally change the world just recording into a microphone.

Stand-up isn't something I just sit down and start writing - it's ideas you come up with in the shower, while you're driving, waiting in line.

We didn't understand irony yet in the '80s; we just kind of existed at face value, so there was no nerd cool yet because the digital revolution was still in its infancy.

The nerdist movement is less about consumers; there is a large contingent that are creative nerdists instead of consumers.

I really don't have time "to Twitter," it's not something that should grab your day. That's a big misconception, actually, about the whole service. You don't go out of your way to tweet, you just post when you've got something. Hopefully, not while you're driving. It complements your life more than takes over your life.

What's more unnerving than magnetism, ghosts, and unpurified water? Gadgetmongers who purport to protect us from metaphysical monsters that go bump in the New Age night.

Worry is a misuse of your imagination.

As someone who's very nerd-minded, whenever I see a lot of cross-platform stuff when I get bonus material on either side, then it makes me want to dive deeper, sort of like tearing apart the different pieces of the pie.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

I think doing the podcast may have been one of the best career decisions I've ever made in my life.

I think some of what makes it a good podcast is that it's organic. It doesn't feel forced. If we can say anything about ours, it's that we're not faking it at all. We're genuinely interested in the people that we're talking to.

Every time I finish a record, it's sort of feels like, "I can't believe that I'm hanging out and having a conversation, and people are gonna listen to this." It's an odd thing, but it's really cool.

I don't know why people don't want to talk about their numbers. I guess in a sense, there's a bit of performer nudity, a bit of ego nudity when you expose your numbers, I guess because someone's are higher or someone's are lower. I've never really talked about the numbers with anyone, so maybe I'm not supposed to.

I made a lot of changes in my life between my twenties and thirties, and it all sort of revolves around how I think people with nerdier brains tend to problem-solve and approach things differently then "norms."

I categorize nerds as creative-obsessive. A lot of nerds are creative people who obsess almost unnaturally over the minutiae of things.

If you have laser-like brain it's not always focused on the most productive things. If you want to play Halo: Reach all day, that's fine, but if you want to accomplish some other things, here are some ways to do that using your innate nerd gifts.

I feel like being nerd is not about the superficial quality; it's about how nerds approach life. It's much more emotional and mental than it is you're some fat guy living in your mom's basement, which I think is just a hacky stereotype.

Twitter is really a hyper-distilled version of how the internet should work - short bursts of relatively useful information.

Twitter is basically text messaging. Twitter is a guy you can always elbow in the side and say, "Hey, look, a guy in a clown suit just threw up!" And I don't have 400-800 words to say about that, I just wanted to say that one thing.

I think people have this stereotypical idea in their head of what a nerd is. People have said to me before, "You're not a nerd!" because I think they think of the classic Revenge Of The Nerds archetype.

Stand-up for me is usually a weekend thing. I go out of town and just do it.

Television and movies just take so long. If you pitch a show or develop a project, it can be a year before your show even gets on the air, if it gets picked up. Just the concept of "I had this idea" and within a week it was in the world, that was a part of why it felt weirdly empowering as a performer.

One of the many reasons why I love stand-up so much is when you're performing, you get instant feedback. You know if stuff is working right away.

I'm just gonna do a podcast because it's mine, I can control it, I have complete responsibility over it, and no one can touch it.

I'm fascinated by people's process. Everyone's process is a little bit different, and just to see the different paths that people take to get where they are is really interesting to me.

As a comedy nerd, I get a lot out of the podcast because I'm genuinely interested in the people I'm talking to.

I do lots of crowd work in my set, because I enjoy writing material through riffing and conversation.

Comedy club audiences pay up to $25 per person and another fistful of cash to cover a two-drink minimum, so when they don't like something, they let you know - with silence.

For podcasters, people are just being themselves in a public fashion. So when someone is attacking a podcast, they're really attacking the person, because the person is the podcast. So I think that's why podcasters take it to heart. It's a very personal form of media, probably the most personal form of media.