Mike Epps Quotations

I'm a survivor of life. I try to give the glory to God and appreciate what's happening to me.

I'm humble enough to wait and just chill. I'm having fun just working with these good people, man.

Just the fact that I'm in the game is great. I'm just blessed to be working. I got a plan, but I'm humble and I try to be humble.

On 'Friday,' I had a big trailer, and we would have a barbecue going and music playing. It was a fun set. There was too much involved for 'The Hangover' to be a fun set. They're trying to get money.

Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes.

We all take losses and it's about getting up and coming back.

They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.

Yeah, I don't mess with chicks younger. They got to be almost thirty.

I don't know nothing about no marriages or nothing. I ain't even never been to a wedding.

I used to be a dusty little child.

You know, you can't make the people do what you want them to do.

I watch old school film so that I can learn so much that I just sort of miss all the new stuff.

Federal prison, if you get any of it, you're going to have to do 85% of it. And the reason why I called it that is because I had a friend who got sent to the federal joint and his whole... it wasn't about him being in jail. He cried about the 85%.

She didn't break his heart, but I feel like a man is supposed to be a man, he ain't supposed to be all involved in that. That's why she got sisters and friend for. Just show up with the ring and act right.

I've been with this young lady for about two years now, and my life changed. I don't even think that way no more. I feel good, too, that I'm changed. Now I feel regular. I feel like I'm supposed to.

But I'm real conscious about what I do. I don't care what the label is. I'm looking at the outcome of it.

I think in life, the sense of humor and comedy always exists.

I've been doing comedy and paying my bills.

The whole Miami Heat team is my least my favorite athlete. Why? Because they keep beating my Pacers.

You know, my life's changed now. I'm starting to experience what people are really supposed to do. You supposed to be married. You're supposed to have a family, kids, treat your wife right.

I don't know why people think I'm this ad-lib dude.

I love Richard Pryor. I love him to death.

I'm gonna have to develop myself. I'm just going to do the best that I can do.

I'm telling a Richard Pryor story through me.

Cedric, man, it's like if I'm working with you, like I'm sitting here now talking to you, I want to get along with you. That's how I am. I feel like if I get along with you, the work will be splendid.

I learned that you don't have to be all over the place, that you can be subtle and you can say what you say. The words that you put together can be just as hilarious as falling all over the place or doing something.

From there, I moved out to L.A. and met Ice Cube. He put me in the movie 'Next Friday,' and I've been working ever since.

May I never forget, on my best day, that I need God as desperately as I did on my worst day

I'm engaged, on the way to being married.

With Ice Cube they ain't no telling. He might have one cocked and loaded, ready to bust. We might do The Sunday, two old men sitting around the house waiting on the social security check.

To have longevity in this business, you have to reinvent yourself. You can't keep doing the same stuff. Sometimes I've turned down stuff and lost money.

The biggest obstacle I've had to overcome is loving myself 100%. And that's still a battle. I love myself, but sometimes you can be your own worst enemy. And I think I've been my worst enemy in life, because others haven't been able to do anything to me unless I allowed them to do it.

'Resident Evil' was different. I like to challenge myself and do different things sometimes. So when it came to me, I was, like, 'Come on with it, I'll do it.

You would be surprised of films that people just don't see. You know what I mean? I'm always working and I'm a film buff but I'm an old school film buff.

Every now and then you get a nice Jewish kid who likes black people and they would come in, and it would be a stream of them, and have black friends and really feel the black struggle on the acting tip and it's a reason why all of us are not dying in the movie.

Well, I think Hollywood, to be quite honest, I think they've run out of material.

You know how Hollywood is: They just follow suit.

Honestly, I feel like I am a leading man, and it's just going to take the right project, the female and the right studio. It's got to all gel together, you know what I mean?

I get a lot of people trying to take advantage of me because of my kindness. I'm either real nice to you, or I want to cut your head off. There's no in between with me.

You can't make the people do what you want them to do. You've got to get everybody to see what you seein' or you gonna be a damn fool.

You can get really bored in this business [film], and I think that's one of the reasons why I've challenged myself so many times in different areas because you can get really bored and stagnated in one area. So, I do a lot of different things to keep myself occupied. In this business, it's a 'hurry up and wait' business and you have to really wait sometimes in some areas. I just keep myself busy. When one thing stops, the other one is rolling.

I would love to play Magnum P.I.

I can remember when I was a baby and my mother was there watching the show. I went and bought 100 episodes and watched them. I respect it so much that the sitcom itself and Ed Norton; I'm not playing Ed Norton but my version of it, cause I'm a black man.

I left Indiana, and I ain't been back since. I've been doing comedy and paying my bills.