Dane Cook Home Quotations

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

My real first job was delivering newspapers with I was 15. I would ride my bike around and chuck papers at people's houses. The thing that sucked is when I would go collecting everyone acted like they were not home. Totally sucked but because I could control the weather I showered trashcan size hail down on their homes until they were completely decimated.

I got home from work today and took like a one hundred hour nap. No you did not. You'd be very sick if you were taking one hundred hour naps. That's a coma! If you said you took a coma after work I'd be able to follow the story.

It's the worst feeling when you come home alone late at night and think the stranger sitting on your couch is a pile of clothes.

I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.