Mark Twain Sarcasm Quotations

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.

It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when he came down to earth, he became the opposite... sweet, gentle merciful, forgiving. He was a thousand billion times crueler than ever he was in the Old Testament... Meek and gentle? By and by we will examine that popular sarcasm by the light of the hell which he invented.

...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.