Monkeys Quotations

When you're dealing with monkeys, you've got to expect some wrenches.

Wearing a monkey suit really lets you know where you stand as an actor.

The poor monkey, quietly seated on the ground, seemed to be in sore trouble at this display of anger.

I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.

Some say that AIDS came from the monkeys, and I doubt that because we have been living with monkeys from time immemorial, others say it was a curse from God, but I say it cannot be that.

The puma is, with the exception of some monkeys, the most playful animal in existence.

There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn't true.

Freedom is a human concept. We have these very romanticized, sentimentalized notions of freedom. And for species - monkeys and other creatures - freedom is a pretty risky, complex proposition that's not always for their benefit.

If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.

I love going into the centre of London because people don't give a monkey's about you or who you are. You can be in a restaurant and no one notices you or if they do they won't show it.

Evolution isn't true, because if we evolved from monkeys, how can they still be here?

You know, if you have a zoo you don't want the other creatures to see you. You want them to hang out and act properly and, you know, when the monkeys will come and ask for the bananas, they won't act like monkeys. If you want them to act on what their true nature is, you've got to leave them alone.

I think life would be so much funnier if every day you saw someone walking down the street getting hit in the head by a monkey.

God, George Bush makes me want to slash my wrists. He's so embarrassing I have to leave the room when he's on the news. What a monkey.

Comedians are the monkeys of acting. When you go to the zoo, everybody loves the monkey exhibit.

What I am interested in with birds, just as I am with spiders or monkeys, is what they do and why they do it.

Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings.

If you were to go to the National Museum in Addis Ababa, you would walk into a huge room filled with literally tens of tons of fossils, and most of them would be elephants and rhinos and hippopotamus and monkeys and giraffes and antelopes and so on. Hominids are very rare in the landscape, and it's very rare to find them.

Poetry, it is often said and loudly so, is life's true mirror. But a monkey looking into a work of literature looks in vain for Socrates.

In Africa, you know, if you're poor, at least you can go to the forest and share some mangoes with the gorillas and monkey.

One of my most laughable moments was when we visited the monkeys in Ubud - they really seemed to like me and at one point, I had three males on my head and shoulders.

I got quite annoyed after the Haiti earthquake. A baby was taken from the wreckage and people said it was a miracle. It would have been a miracle had God stopped the earthquake. More wonderful was that a load of evolved monkeys got together to save the life of a child that wasn't theirs.

When I would be myself, I was being big-headed. I was being egotistical. I was a megalomaniac, when it really was just having not to be a monkey for a few hours a day. And fulfilling the need to be a man.

Cats and monkeys; monkeys and cats; all human life is there.

I really like the Caribbean. Anyplace in the Caribbean. I get there, and I feel like a monkey - the perfect state.

It does get old to have to always be a monkey in a zoo. I don't know what it's like any more to be anonymous.

I have a toy poodle, Shadow. She's a little whippersnapper! And I love little monkeys.

I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.

I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan.

Well, here's the thing with relationships on 'True Blood': Once they happen then you have to throw a monkey-wrench into them, because to have people be happy is not that exciting.

Monkeys are ornery and hard to work with.

Monkeys don't enjoy or appreciate flavours. Experts have told us that human beings are the only beings that can appreciate food at this higher level and the only living beings that cook.

Monkeys resonate with consumers because we can all relate to office situations that are difficult.

My dad would trade monkeys for an alligator -- zoo-to-zoo deals; you'd find someone who needed what you had,

Nutty as 12 monkeys in a 10 monkey barrel

We need to beat them. You always want to get a monkey off your back. This season we got the 20-win monkey off of our back. Last season, we got to Cleveland. This season, we got the (first-round) bye. We need to just keep taking monkeys off of our back.

My Master of Arts degree means nothing at all to these monkeys and I have come to share their indifference.

I don't understand why women get upset when you compare them to one of the monkeys from Planet of the Apes, even one of the heroic ones, like Dr. Zera.

I wish Monkeys could Skype. Maybe one day.

When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language.

I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like water.

He has snuck into laboratories and zoos, found people with monkeys as pets. The story is amazing because of the extent he's gone.

I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.

The Arctic Monkeys have connected with the mainstream in one leap. This is an outstanding figure as January is a quiet time of the year for sales.

We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-f**kin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.

You monkeys only think you’re running things,

Artists are not your art monkeys. They are your collaborators. They should be given all due consideration to follow their journey.

The fact that there are bigger injustices and wrongs doesn't make it right to sacrifice an innocent monkey. It doesn't alter the case at all.

There's no right. There's no wrong. There's only popular opinion.

I'll direct any movie starring a monkey or the Olsen Twins. Preferably both.

You can beat on your chest, hell, any monkey can.

Welcome back, my cheeky wee monkeys.

The monkeys solved the puzzle simply because they found it gratifying to solve puzzles. They enjoyed it. The joy of the task was its own reward.

With the tiger you're always on edge, and you always have to keep your distance. The monkey is far less threatening so you're more relaxed around the monkey, and I think that's actually hazardous.

You never monkey with the truth.

Silence is of the gods; only monkeys chatter.

I saw a monkey walking on a leash and thought it was an ugly foreign child.

Why should I question the monkey when I can question the organ grinder.

I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.

Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, 'The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind'.

My way of learning is to heave a wild and unpredictable monkey-wrench into the machinery.

I wouldn't give my troubles to a monkey on a rock.

To this day, images of apes and monkeys are used as a way to depict black people. It's what it will always mean. You can't just dress monkeys up like people and not conjure Jim Crow.

We were asked if there were any drug-related side-effects, and this was not one of them. The temporary swollen glands in the monkeys were not un-foreseen.

Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.

We are ashamed at the sight of a monkey--somehow as we are shy of poor relations.

Never in all her life had she imagined that this idolized millinery could look, to those who paid for it, like the decorations of an insane monkey.

God likes a little humor, as is evidence by the fact that he made the monkeys, the parrot -- and some of you people.

People talk too much. Humans aren't descended from monkeys. They come from parrots.

Somebody give me a banana. I'm playing like a monkey, so I might as well eat like one.

A few months ago, I had the pleasure of actually visiting the Playboy Mansion. I saw the peacocks, fed grapes to the monkeys, and even braved the fabled Grotto. After seeing the estate, I understood why anyone would be reluctant to leave.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

Cable cars are fun - everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey.

To keep it out is anti-education. ... You can't just tell children that they come from monkeys and to forget all about any other theory for how life began and the incredible design of the universe and the human body.

The success of our creative is driven by the right blend of humor with a memorable message that resonates with a wide audience. Everyone can relate to working with a bunch of monkeys on some level. We appreciate the honors and look forward to building on the momentum we created this year in 2006 as we tackle the Super Bowl and other major events once again.

The tape shows experimenters using their power over the monkeys to torture and torment them, while lab supervisors stand by or even join in,

There are 193 species of monkeys and apes, 192 of them are covered with hair. The exception is a naked ape self-named Homo sapiens.

We spend our lives guessing at what's going on inside everybody else, and when we happen to get lucky and guess right, we think we 'understand.' Such nonsense. Even a monkey at a computer will type a word every now and then.

Somebody must take a chance. The monkeys who became men, and the monkeys who didn't are still jumping around in trees making faces at the monkeys who did.

Infinity is a player of great significance who appears on the stage only when the crucial questions of existence are raised. Infinity offers its services when we seek to know if the Universe began or whether it will ever end, whether life will always be part of its landscape, and whether there are tasks which can never be accomplished. Infinity challenges us to contemplate the duplication of ourselves and all that we hold dear, and to ponder the cogency of all possibilities, potential and actual. It undermines our sense of the precious by suggesting a randomly infinite universe will eventually conjure up the works of Shakespeare, somewhere, as if created by a regiment of monkeys armed with typewriters. Infinity also seeks to guard us from taking the wrong path in our quest to unravel the deepest of Nature's secrets about the ultimate structure of mass and energy.

It seemed very, very similar to the experience of people who are compulsive gamblers, ... While it's always dangerous to anthropomorphize, it seemed as if these monkeys got a high out of getting a big reward that obliterated any memory of all the losses that they would experience following that big reward.

The person that always wins, that`s the other thing. The monkey picking stocks always wins.

Moreover, I wish to assure you both that I did not make any amorous advances on female monkeys.

I rather wonder what I am doing here. I enjoy city life, you know. The glittering lights, the constant companionship, the liquid entertainment. The lack of sudden monkeys.

Arctic Monkeys are not interested in being in people's faces. They're not giving themselves away, and that seems to make their connection with people doubly powerful. People are getting everything slammed in their faces by the media - not just music, right across the board. But fans like digging things out for themselves.

Arctic Monkeys have made it look as easy as falling off a log. They're just, basically, four lads from Sheffield; teenagers who've put together their songs and released them through the Internet.

A real program called Helping Hands... real monkeys are put in homes with handicapped or disabled people. They can get you your lunch, answer the door, turn the TV or music on... like having a little helper. They're raised on Discovery Island at Disney World, and you can adopt them!

As an actor and writer, husband and father, I have two often-conflicting monkeys on my back: Monkey number one is Creative Monkey. He occasionally digs his claws into my brains, and refuses to let go until something wonderful comes out. I love him.

You are quite correct in saying that I banned the export of monkeys on a humanitarian basis and not because the number was lessening. I believe in preventing cruelty to all living beings in any form.

Allowing liberals to manage economic policy is like hiring monkeys to be aircraft mechanics.

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Twitter can no more produce analysis than a monkey can type out a work of Shakespeare.

Let's do it. Monkeys are always funny. You pretty much can't go wrong with a monkey, right? Hi paused. Well unless that monkey wants you dead, or does needle drugs or something. Then it's wrong, and a bad monkey.

It's so cold today even the brass monkeys have stayed home!

There was no rational reason why monkeys might prefer one of these options over the other because, according to the theory of expected value, they're identical.

They moved the monkeys into the Myrick Park zoo, but the water in the moat froze during the night and the monkeys ran across the ice, climbed the fence and ran. Naturally, the first place they went was to the only house there ? my mother's.

What's happened is that Arctic Monkeys have come along and taken all his fans away with one fell swoop.

It's a big wakeup call to all the record companies, the establishment, if you like. This lot caught them all napping. We are living in a completely different era, which the Arctic Monkeys have done an awful lot to bring about.

We found that they still preferred the risky target. Basically these monkeys really liked to gamble.

Let your monkey do it.