Ring Lardner Comedian Quotations

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.

The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes something he didn't think he could do.

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.

No one, ever, wrote anything as well even after one drink as he would have done with out it.

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.

I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.