Will Rogers Thinking Quotations

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

No man is great if he thinks he is.

I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime.

Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right?

Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office.

There is a terrible lot of us who don't think that we come from a monkey, but if there are some people who think that they do, why, it's not our business to rob them of what little pleasure they might get out of imagining it.

You can't tell what a man is like or what he is thinking when you are looking at him. You must get around behind him and see what he has been looking at.

I don't think either one of them knows what it's all about, to be honest with you. Both sides are doing nothing but just looking towards the next election.

Borrowing money on what's called 'easy terms,' is a one-way ticket to the Poor House. If you think it ain't a Sucker Game, why is your Banker the richest man in your Town? Why is your Bank the biggest and finest building in your Town? Instead of passing Bills to make borrowing easy, if Congress had passed a Bill that no Person could borrow a cent of Money from any other person, they would have gone down in History as committing the greatest bit of Legislation in the World.

The good people of Dakota offered to give Calvin Coolidge a farm if he would live on it. I wouldn't advise you to give those people too much credit for generosity. There is not a farmer in any State in the West that wouldn't be glad to give him a farm if he will paint it, fix up the fences and keep up the series of mortgages that are on it. And if you think Coolidge ain't smart, you just watch him not take it.

We Americans think we are pretty good! We want to build a house, we cut down some trees. We want to build a fire, we dig a little coal. But when we run out of all these things, then we will find out just how good we really are.

If everybody (traded his car for a horse) they would be out of debt in a couple of years. Just think, no gas, no tires, no roads to pay for.

They are voting whether to keep a governor two years or four. I think a good, honest governor should get four years, and the others life.

I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators were hot, imagine how the jackasses must feel.

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

A president just can't make much showing against congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on.

I make a living off (politicians), so I can't knock 'em. Every time we elect some fellow we think he's terrible and then when we get another one in he's worse. So, I am always in favor of keeping the one we've got and let the other go.

Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely

The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.

If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?

Millions and millions of people don't pay an income tax, because they don't earn enough to pay on one, but you pay a land tax whether it ever did or ever will earn you a penny. You should pay on things that you buy outside of bare necessities. I think this sales tax is the best tax we have had in years.

Politics are receiving a lot of attention because we have nothing else to interest us. No nation in the history of the world was ever sitting as pretty. If we want anything, all we have to do is go and buy it on credit. So that leaves us without any economic problem whatever, except perhaps some day to have to pay for them. But we are certainly not thinking about that this early.