Andy Borowitz Technology Quotations

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.