Joan Rivers Love Quotations

It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.

I love the Internet, and I love that you can say whatever you want.

I will work as hard as I do because I love it.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous.

Get a pet, an animal you will love and one that will love you in return. In your home, there should be something besides the rugs to take care of. Get a pet that will stain those rugs and you'll have a happier home.

All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always loved fashion and I love that we can do it and not take it seriously.

My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.

It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.

Dogs are easier to love than people; they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.

"I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to tell him: "That was a joke!" But he just didn't get it. Mick Jagger said, "F- 'em if they don't get the joke." And I love him. That comes with age: Knowing it's their problem, not mine."

I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.

You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

Edgar had a heart attack, and I'm to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.

Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.

Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.