Les Dawson Wife Quotations

I took the wife's family out for tea biscuits. They weren't too happy about having to give blood though.

Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.

I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.

The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.

I'd like to thank the BBC for allowing me to work here. And I'd like to thank the wife and kids for making it necessary.

Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.

I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.