Milton Berle Wife Quotations

My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.

One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.