Woody Allen Two Quotations

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?

You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out

I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.

There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.

I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.

You can't ride two horses with one behind.

Sex and death are two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

I am two with nature.

There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.

I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.

A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.

Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.

Me and nature are two.

I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­

In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.

Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one