Woody Allen Love Quotations

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

The only way to be happy is to love to suffer.

No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.

I hope you're getting this down.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

The only love that lasts is unrequited love.

Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.

You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. "Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office?" All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.

Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly, human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even try to find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more.

The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.

Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.

I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.

Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

The heart wants what it wants.

Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.

The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'

You can be with your wife, very happily married, and then you meet some woman and you love her. But you love your wife, too. And you also love that one. Or if she's met some man and she loves the man and she loves you. And then you meet somebody else and now there are three of you. Why only one person?

You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists of the fact that, when we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find all or some of the people to whom we were attached as children. On the other hand, we ask our beloved to correct all of the wrongs that these early parents or siblings inflicted upon us. So that love contains in it the contradiction: The attempt to return to the past and the attempt to undo the past.

I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.