I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.
I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.