Emo Philips Girlfriend Quotations

I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'

My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.

My girlfriend said, Emo, I'm seeing another man. I said, Well, try rubbing your eyes or something.

My ex-girlfriend was very sexy. She reminded me of the Sphinx because she was very mysterious and eternal and solid...and her nose was shot off by French soldiers.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don't know what she charges him.

My girlfriend said, Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don't even need! So, I signed her up for radiation treatment.

Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.