Jerry Coleman Humor Quotations

Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch!

Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.

I like to use big words so people will think I know what I'm talking about.

You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.

The ballgame is over...in this inning.

Shirley and Griffey get along like a rattler and a parrot.

Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to.

Those numbers with Tony are so often and so interesting.

That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.

On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with the Karl Marx hairdo.

Gene Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head. No harm done.

Montefusco bare-hands it and throws him out. That grounder will make you a traveling salesman in a hurry!

The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight!

Finley is going over to get a new piece of bat.

At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria.

You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.

Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".

I challenge anyone, even with a radar machine, to hit that slider.

Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.

Davis fouls out to third in fair territory.

There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.

Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.

And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield.

That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.

Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.

Montreal leads Atlanta by three, 5-1.

The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.

Edwards missed getting Stearns at third base by an eyeball.

There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.

He can be lethal death.

Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.

That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.

Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.

Kent Abbott is in the on-deck circuit.

Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.

If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did.

From the way Denny's shaking his head, he's either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.

Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.

Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.

It's a base hit on the error by Roberts.

Enos Cabell started out here with the Astros, and before that he was with the Orioles.

We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here!

The big ballpark can do it all!

McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back.

Hi folks, I'm Gerry Gross!

If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.

It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader.

Right now Andy Larkin is pitching just like young Andy Larkin.

Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either.

Hrabosky looks fierce in that Fu Manchu haircut.

Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year!

Grubb goes back, back... He's under the warning track and makes the play.

Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.

The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century.

Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?

The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston.

Those amateur umpires are certainly flexing their fangs tonight.

Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.

They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.

The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.

Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.

At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3.

The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri.

I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.

Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable.

And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.

Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.

There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.

The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin.

National League umpires wear inside chest protesters.

What a great hitch to pit!

DeShaies is like a clock out there. Every other pitch goes one way or the other.

That was like swatting June bugs off a fly.

You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.

I've never seen a game like this. Every game this year has been like this.

When Guante started, they thought he'd be like popcorn, one of the most popular things around.

With one out in the first, Dave Roberts looks a lot better than the last time he pitched against the Padres!

Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you.

Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4.

Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.

I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.

Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!

Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon.

Ozzie Smith is out there roaming around like glass.

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.

George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.

Renko has just about had it. Pretty soon somebody will come out of the dugout with a fork and get him.