Mitch Hedberg Comedian Quotations

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.

I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one is the real hero?

I`ve not really been angling to be a comedian. I knew comics and I loved them and I loved being funny, but I didn't understand the whole concept of becoming one. My first couple of times on stage, I was like, "This is what I'm doing for sure." I was so excited.