J. K. Rowling Funny Quotations

There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other.

We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.

The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.

One can never have enough socks

Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies?

This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this.

Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have.

Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?

But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.

Because that's what Hermione does,' said Ron, shrugging. 'When in doubt, go to the library.

I don't believe in the kind of magic in my books. But I do believe something very magical can happen when you read a good book.

What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally the whole school knows.

Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there. "Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself.

Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?

He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

Honestly, if you were any slower, you’d be going backward.

Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy-" "Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing." Percy scowled. "That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley. "Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you-

Well, I certainly don't," said Percy sanctimoniously. "I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days." "Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?" said Fred. "That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!" said Percy, going very red in the face. "It was nothing personal!" "It was," Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. "We sent it.

Don’t put your wand there, boy! ... Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!

Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe.

Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to get one that hits back.

Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt.

I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry.

I think I'll just go down and have some pudding and wait for it all to turn up - it always does in the end.

What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?” “Oh no, Ron,” came Fred’s voice, very sarcastically. “No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up.

What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?

Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?

Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother?

Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth 'It unscrews the other way.

You need your Inner Eye tested, if you ask me.

George,” said Fred, “I think we’ve outgrown full-time education.” “Yeah, I’ve been feeling that way myself,” said George lightly.

OH NO YOU DON’T, LADDIE!” Harry spun around. Professor Moody was limping down the marble staircase. His wand was out and it was pointing right at a pure white ferret, which was shivering on the stone-flagged floor, exactly where Malfoy had been standing.